Saturday, February 25, 2017

My Hope Is In The Lord

"My hope is in the Lord, I belong to Him. He will never let me go. My hope is in the Lord. I can count on Him. My hope is in the Lord."

      Teaching preschool gives me constant access to awesome songs to help remember the things of God. The one I shared above is simple but when you dig deeper, is very profound. Let me explain....

      The beginning of February started out rough and I had to learn how to rest in the Lord and put my hope in Him. It's difficult to do that when you are used to doing everything for everyone and being strong in the midst of it all. I don't have time to be weary...or at least to let my weariness show.
       February 1st, our youngest son ended up in Children's Hospital with RSV and viral bronchiolitis. He was there for 2 days. That was one of the scariest and most traumatic times of my life. To see my sweet baby hooked to monitors and oxygen and not knowing what was going to happen, really took a toll on me. The second night in the hospital, while wondering what I did to cause all of this to happen to my sweet boy, my friend told me that I needed to just rest in the Lord and let Him work. I didn't know exactly how to do that but I knew it didn't include me blaming myself and going crazy trying to answer all of my own questions. I just tried to be still.

       Through the winter I have really learned how to tune in and hear God's voice. I have grown in so many different ways. And all these ways allowed me to be O.K. when God stopped talking directly to me. Our stay in the hospital started a 17 day season of my life where hard things happened but God was quiet. I am a social person. I meet a friend for coffee or have a long and spiritually profound phone call with someone almost once a week. I thrive on these things. Even just going to work 16 hours a week, fills me up! During this quiet time, not once did I spend time with a friend AND I was only able to work 3 of the 17 days! It was SO odd! I didn't realize what God was doing at the time but I do now!  He was wanting me to seek Him for fulfillment. Not putting so much stock in people or situations. He had to let me see that He is the one who is in control, not me. He wanted me to put my hope in Him.  Now, God didn't make my baby get sick but, like he says in His word: He made all things work together for good(Romans 8:28)

      What does it mean to "put your hope in God"? I didn't know so, like the rest of the world, I googled it! I searched the definition of "hope".


  1. a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen:
    "he looked through her belongings in the hope of coming across some information" ·
    "I had high hopes of making the Olympic team"
    synonyms: aspiration · desire · wish · expectation · ambition · aim · goal · plan ·
  2. archaic
    a feeling of trust

      What I gathered was that putting my hope in the Lord means to expect Him to do what He says He is going to do (according to His word) and trusting Him to do it! It's a very simple principle of getting in the Bible and learning all about God's promises. He loves when we pray His Word back to Him. Yes, he knows what it says, but it blesses Him to hear us asking for and activating His promises with our words. "Life and death lie in the power of the tongue" (Proverbs 18:21) That is pretty big stuff.

      Now, you might be wondering why I shared that my season was 17 days long. Many times, in spiritual lessons, numbers are very significant. At the end of this time God gave me a revelation. We recently entered the year of 2017 and in January, our pastor taught on what the number 17 meant. It symbolizes overcoming the enemy and complete victory. The Lord revealed to me that during my quiet time, He equipped me to overcome the enemy and have complete victory! Not only now, but in the coming seasons!

    I have to tell you, this quiet time was hard but as I mentioned before: God taught me how to get through it! Normally, if God weren't speaking I would worry that I did something wrong and that He was punishing me by being silent. I know it sounds silly but that is really how my brain used to work! The whole purpose of this blog is to encourage someone with my journey and share how I've grown and changed in my spiritual life. I share this to tell you....Won't God do it?! He has been so faithful! My prayer last year was that He renew my mind and though there have been many other instances, this one is significant! What normally would have derailed me, changed my life for the better! I would never have expected to pass the test and handle this the way I did but God equipped me! He changed me, molded me into His image and is continuing to do so! God did one of the greatest works in me, while He was being quiet! That goes to show, God has many ways of ministering to us. We just have to be open to receive.

In Christ,

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Knowing God's Nature

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
James 4:7
      The Lord placed this scripture in my spirit the other night and I made a post on Instagram about it. I want to share with you what I wrote there and elaborate a little.
       We hear people quote the second half of this verse frequently..."resist the devil and he will flee from you", But it is not often that we hear the first half..."submit yourselves, then, to God". It's a command, not a suggestion. Many people act as though you can pick and choose what you want out of the bible and only do what is comfortable. That is not the case. In order to resist the devil, we have to submit to God. You can't have the one without the other. What does it mean to submit? My pastor said that it means to "come under". Submitting to God looks like dying to flesh. Letting go of fear and choosing to walk in faith, letting go of doubt and trusting in God. Standing on His word when everyone and everything else is telling you the opposite. It looks like forgiving when forgiveness is the last thing on your mind. It looks like keeping your mouth shut when you want so badly to gossip about that person that drives you crazy. I share this because I am there. I am struggling BUT I am learning and growing through it all. God is good all the time. Be encouraged if you are in the same boat. "Cast your cares upon Him, because He cares for you.For me, submitting to God has been a process. It's had to be intentional. Over time it has gotten easier.

         These past 9 months, my walk with Christ has grown and flourished so much and so quickly. I can't tell you how many times I've been on the verge of giving up and throwing in the towel on my faith, BUT GOD! My journey of going deeper in my faith started with me studying Moses and the Israelites, especially their time in the desert. Through the  story of Moses we see that he came to know the nature of God. He knew God's heart. He took time to seek him, gaining clarity, wisdom and favor. On the contrary, the Israelites were only seeking God's hand. What could God do for them and how quickly would He do it? Our generation has such a "microwave mentality", that more often than not, we view God the same way. Through Moses, God parted the Red Sea and they escaped from Pharaoh by walking across on dry ground! And in the entire 40 years that they were in the desert their clothes and sandals didn't wear out! What miracles! Those things should have been enough for them to consistently praise and worship God. It should have motivated them to seek a relationship with Him. But it didn't. They kept wanting more, they even said that they would rather just go back to Egypt, to slavery! Reading those stories , I have thought to myself "How ungrateful! Such miracles and they are being brats!"....Then I realized....I have acted the same way.  Asking God for things over and over, not just worshipping Him for all He has done for me.Needless to say, that is a hard pill to swallow. Yes, being a child of God, I should be confident that God wants to and will bless me, but he doesn't HAVE to. This is where grace and mercy come into play. More on that another day. 

       This whole process started with me submitting to God by asking Him to change my mind. To renew a right spirit within me and help me to be like Moses. I want to know His nature. I had and still have such a hunger to be exactly who he wants me to be. I had to realize that I could never do this on my own. I had to relinquish control. It's been scary, and sometimes it still is. Though now, I am aware that I can cast down those thoughts and ask God to fill me with faith and peace. Day by day. Hour by hour. Moment by moment.

      I have adopted Proverbs 3 as my "life chapter". It's good stuff. I will share a bit of it with you here but you should go read it in its entirety.

"Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
    bind them around your neck,
    write them on the tablet of your heart.
Then you will win favor and a good name
    in the sight of God and man.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.[a]
Do not be wise in your own eyes;
    fear the Lord and shun evil.
This will bring health to your body
    and nourishment to your bones"
         Letting God guide my every step and trusting Him totally is not easy but it is so worth it. I don't understand it most of the time but God always tells me that His thoughts and ways are higher than my own. God's plan is not for us to understand. Having faith is a huge part of being obedient to Him. Faith moves God. Keep pushing and striving.  

Saturday, October 8, 2016

Changing My Mind

I have suffered under the spirit of poverty for almost my entire life and I've been dealing with a poverty mindset lately.  In a nutshell that means that I have  been focusing on what I don't have (physically, spiritually, and mentally), as opposed to what I do have. Wealth, in all areas of my life, is my inheritance from God. He did not send Jesus to earth to die on the cross so I could be broke, busted and disgusted. He sent him that I may have life and have it to the fullest. You and I have to love ourselves as much as God loves us. We have to change our thinking to change our lives. Once we do that it will be easier to realize that we deserve ALL good things and allow God to restore all that the devil stole from us a hundred fold!

To be totally  honest, I have refrained from sharing because I am so afraid of what others may think of my blessings. How silly is that?? I'm worried about what OTHER PEOPLE might think about the things GOD has blessed myself and my family with! Others may not understand my journey or think that I am worthy to recieve all that God has for me, which in turn leads me to believe that I'm not worthy. Even writing this I feel the need to explain myself to get approval  from others and their "permission" to have what God has given and to enjoy it fully. Guilt and faith are opposing forces. This is not how God wants me to live. The Lord has been teaching me that I am to be confident in who I am and realize that I deserve everything and more that He has given and will give me. I do not need the approval of man for what God has brought forth. He will not set me up for failure.

I don't know about you but sometimes I feel like God will bless me just to take it away and "keep me humble". That is a total lie. It all stems from the poverty mindset. God loves me and wants me to be healthy and prosper, even as my soul prospers (3 John 1). I have to work on getting my soul ( which is my mind, my will and my emotions) lined up with God's will FOR me and His idea OF me. That means casting down wrong thinking and filling my mind with truth, which is God's word. I haven't documented much of it, which I plan to change that from this day forward, but the Holy Spirit has been transforming my my mind and changing my thinking . My prayer has been to be filled with the thoughts and ideas of God. I am learning that there is no room for the lies of the enemy in a mind that is focused on Christ. I am a child of God and the blessing of Abraham is on my life! It is on yours too! Just believe and recieve it!


I apologize that I have slacked on sharing my journey. I have a lot to tell you, so stay tuned!!

Monday, August 22, 2016

When you're just not feeling it

Though it is not always realistic or doable, I feel like I need to sit down quietly, alone with my bible and a notebook in order to really tap into prayer or to hear from God. Satan knows this and totally uses it against me. Recently I posted a video on distractions and in a nutshell, I said that sometimes the enemy uses good things to distract us. I have found myself in that dilemma right now. 

 So much has been going on. Within the last 4 days, we have moved to a new house, our oldest kids started school, our youngest started daycare and I started a new job! It wears me out just typing it!   I don't share this as a complaint, I just want you to have the whole picture. While enjoying and navigating through these new blessings, I have not taken the time to really sit and just be with God. I feel totally guilty about it. I'm not feeling very spiritual. 

One phrase I repeat to myself frequently is "faith is not about feelings". It is  hard to die to my flesh and not operate on how I feel but I  know that it is an attack.  Just because I don't "feel" it, doesn't change my position in Christ. I think about was an emotional wreck! Just read the Psalms and you'll see. I have no doubt that he got distrated and felt far from God because he didn't make enough time to sit quietly with Him.  Though he had highs and lows, it did not change God's mind about him. God used him mightily!  The good thing is that I have caught onto it, brought it before the Lord and asked the Holy Spirit to strengthen and help me. If you are in a place like me, please know that it is ok! Push through this season and don't stay stuck. Learn to give yourself grace, God does! 

Monday, August 15, 2016

My voice will be heard!

I sit here tonight just thinking back over the past couple of months and all that God has done. He has made ways and worked things out perfectly. Yet, I have allowed my voice to be stifled and I haven't shared a bit of it with you. Somehow, fear has crept in slowly choking me. Not only has my voice been quieted spiritually but also physically. In the last 6 weeks alone,  I have suffered from both laryngitis and strep throat for the first time in my life. Until today, I didn't really and truly realize that they were connected to my spiritual afflicion. I have a call of God on my life, and that scares the devil. If I can get my story and experiences out there to encourage or lead even one person to Christ, that is one too many in his opinion. He has done so many things to prevent me from sharing and to keep me in fear. I am learing that one way to combat the attack is to do what scares me. Don't let fear keep me bound. I am making a commitment to blog more frequently. I have so much content to share, so many words to type and plenty of pain to minister out of. I plan to clear out and tear down the house that fear had taken up residence in within my soul. There is freedom, peace and healing that is coming to me. And my prayer is that it is coming to you too. I apologize for my silence and I want to thank you for following along with my journey. You will be hearing from me again soon!

Monday, June 27, 2016


Hey Friends! Long time, no blog! Things have been a whirlwind lately. As some of you know, I have started posting videos. Its been very interesting and exciting but also kind of overwhelming! For those of you who are following my journey, I just want to say thank you! I pray that you are encouraged and blessed!

Now its time to get into the nitty gritty...The past few days I've been struggling. One of my blog posts offended someone. I know it's part of the journey but I guess I just wasn't expecting it. It has upset me to the point of avoiding writing and posting videos. That stops today! God doesn't need defended! He called me to write and share my testimony through videos. If something I say or do is against His will, He will check me! We live in such a world where we are worried about offending everyone but we don't think twice about offending God. I don't want to intentionally hurt anyone but I cannot be responsible for everyone's thoughts and feelings toward or about what I say.

Just yesterday my pastor said "once you accept the call, you need to count the cost". Counting the cost looks different in every situation. No one likes persecution but if you are truly in a place of obedience and following God, its the persecution that pushes you. Psalm 34:19 says " The righteous person may have troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all". God's word is true. Every last bit of it! I am determined to get my story out there and keep being obedient and pushing forward, no matter what roadblocks may arise. Some days are easier than others, but its all worth it in the end.

Obedience to God is something I am learning about. I haven't got it fully figured out and probably never will, but I am pursuing it wholeheartedly! When I am obedient, it opens doors to God's provision and blessings! I want all God has for me so I will continue pressing on and being obedient!God has a big plan for me and my family and I'm so excited that you're here to share it with us! Be blessed, keep your head up and, as long as you and I are serving God we don't have to worry about all the other junk! We have the VICTORY!

Catch ya later!

Thursday, May 26, 2016

One Of The Hardest Things


It's not something that comes easy. It goes against all societal norms. It goes against our feelings and thinking patterns as human beings. I don't know about you but when I get angry, forgiveness is the last thing on my mind. I would rather lash out and give somebody a verbal "what-for". We try to avenge ourselves. As believers, we are commanded to love our enemies and pray for those who despitefully use us. Romans 12:19 says  "Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord".

To forgive, we must look at the condition of our hearts. Lately, I have had a hard time. I am bitter, angry, and fed up with a certain situation.  Even writing this, I want to be free, but I also want vengeance! I'm just being real with you. A wise sister in Christ told me earlier that God is using this situation to grow me. He wants to see how I will respond. He wants me to seek Him, allow vengeance to be His and allow the Holy Spirit to change my heart. This is not something that I can do of my own will.

I am a mess. Rotten, dirty and broken, but I want to act as though I am superior to someone else and refuse to extend forgiveness. This stops today! I may not feel love in my heart, but I CHOOSE it. I surrender to the Lord. I want Him to change me from the inside out. Give me His words and thoughts. Give me the strength to extend love and turn the other cheek. God's word says "If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect." Matthew 5:46-48 (NLT). I want to be different! I want to be set apart! Undignified in my pursuit for God. Going against the grain and against what is thought to be "normal".

God's grace is new every morning. He gives us another chance even when we screwed up the day, hour and moment before. He forgives us for all of our sins. He meets us where we are in the middle of all of our yuck and LOVES us!! I don't deserve any of what God gives me but he gives it freely. Why can't I let go of my flesh, surrender to God and forgive? Jesus was beaten, mocked and scorned, yet He forgave. God watched His ONLY son go through hell to save ME! I am unworthy but God says he loves me and that I am seated in heavenly places with Him. I need to start acting like it!